Making Memories with your Family
Are social media, video games, smart phones, & prolific technology replacing family memories in our kids’ childhoods?
YES!
Is “making memories” as a family really that important?
YES!
What does “making memories” look like?
KEEP READING…
Making memories together as a family is vital in helping your children feel loved and secure. These shared experiences foster connection and a sense of belonging, as well as strengthens the bonds between family members. Building these experiences not only shapes your child’s identity and builds their resilience, but also gives so much joy!
We have to CHOOSE to make memories; it will not happen by default. Plan it, schedule it, and guard that time! We don’t need loads of money or all the ideas off a Pinterest board; we just need creativity, intentionality, and a spirit of fun!
10 Ways to Make Memories with your Family:
Celebrate as much as possible!
“Life should not only be lived, it should be celebrated (Osho).” Kiddos remember celebrations AND celebrations are fun! Most people celebrate birthdays and holidays throughout the year, BUT there is opportunity for more! Here are some other occasions where a celebration can commence:
Book Club Parties: after my boys and I read aloud a chapter book or novel, we celebrate. This doesn’t have to be super complicated or expensive. For example, after reading Rascal, we had a few food items that were mentioned in the book and a few things that Rascal the raccoon enjoyed. We then ate, drank, and discussed the story. After reading Matilda, the boys got to try a TV dinner while watching the movie Matilda.
New season or chapter in life- this could be a sibling going off to college or maybe the family has moved into a new house or maybe a baby has joined the family or we might want to celebrate autumn or the coming of winter.
New month- most of our months include a holiday, but wouldn’t it be fun to celebrate the 1st of each month and have special foods and activities to highlight that particular month! What an anticipatory way to look forward to the next 4 weeks!
Family member’s accomplishment- this is a great way to celebrate each other. This could be a family member graduating, getting a promotion, obtaining a specific job, winning a race or game or spelling bee, getting something published, winning an art award, etc.
Milestones- these occur throughout our life (first day of school, entering the teen years, getting a driver’s license, getting our first job, first haircut, etc.) Mark the once-in-a-lifetime occasion with a celebration!
Beginning of summer- in our family, we used to celebrate the end of the school year and beginning of summer by spelling out summer with cinnamon rolls and each boy got a sand bucket with various summer items like goggles, snorkel gear, new towels, flip-flops, sunglasses, a sports drink, frisbees, new water bottles, sand toys, and summer snacks. These were practical, yet fun, items that spurred the excitement of summer vacation.
Conquering a fear- how uplifting would it be to celebrate a family member after they have conquered a fear. This could be learning how to swim, jumping off the high dive, speaking in front of the class, etc.
Or Just because!!!
***REMEMBER: celebrations DO NOT have to be expensive or complicated! The smallest gesture goes a LONG way!***
2. Make little things extraordinary-like seeing the beauty in a grasshopper or marveling at the pattern of tree bark or noticing the way a bird is hunting for a worm or a squirrel is jumping from tree to tree or how the sun reflecting off the water looks like shimmering crystals.
How can we turn mundane moments into memory makers? By being intentional.
If you have to go grocery shopping, take along 1 kiddo and get a treat as you go along.
Take a family walk after dinner and have each person share 1 thing they are grateful for.
When returning books back to the library, grab a coffee/hot chocolate with your kiddos (and then check out new books and read together as you sip!)
When cleaning the house, turn on some music and dance around cleaning together or make a game where everyone has a mission.
***Although not every day can be a super exciting adventure because life will always be intermingled with chores, errands, work, and play, we CAN find joy, spontaneity, and adventure through the mundane life essentials. It just takes some creativity and (my favorite word) intentionality!***
3. Read with them! There is a decline in reading these days. A recent study found that only around 14% of 13 year-olds in the US are reading “for fun” on a daily basis. I have fond memories of my mom reading to me as a little girl and some of my favorite memories with my own boys are snuggling on the couch reading stories. Fun Fact: even older kids (tweens and teens) enjoy being read aloud to. There is so much value in reading as a family and discussing the books together. It allows families to make connections, have inside jokes, and impart wisdom and family values.
4. Eat meals together. A Harvard study found that 80% of teens say family dinner is when they talk the most with their parents. However, family meals have declined over the past few decades, with only about 30% of families managing to eat together regularly. Here’s some ideas:
Your meal together could be breakfast, lunch, OR dinner
Each person can bring 1 question or topic to the dinner table conversation
Give a high, low for the day
Ask “who did you help today?” (we are beginning this in our family to encourage conscious selflessness)
Have a “no manners” night (this idea came from a book by Bob Goff in which after weeks of his kids learning and using good manners, they celebrated one night by doing the opposite. Basically, it seemed like one giant food fight! Let’s maybe do this one outside!!)
Family devotion time, ours happens during breakfast when we are all together and before our day gets busy
Bring an article or current issue up for discussion at dinner- this is a purposeful way to talk about family values, biblical worldview, and how to respond to cultural concerns
Have kiddos help prepare a meal and help clean up- people (including children) are always more invested when they have a hand in something.
Light a candle or have special placemats, set the table- these signify that the meal is a special dedicated time when the family is together.
5. Play with your kiddos. This builds connection, bonding, allows for spontaneous conversation, is an active form of love, and allows you to have fun together. Here’s just a few ideas to fully connect with your kiddos through play (even just 20 minutes a day is impactful!)
Board/card games (remember Monopoly will be a 4 hour time investment!)
One-on-one dates with you and one kiddo
Play tag at the park, play hide and seek (I count this in my daily exercise routine!)
Rollerblade with them (don’t be embarrassed if you wipe out- I did!)
Draw or paint with them (my oldest son and I go on “drawing dates” where we go somewhere, draw from our surroundings, and just hang out together. Now we have pages of bridges, landscapes, a lighthouse…these sketchbooks are a treasured memento!)
Ride bikes or take a hike together (combining nature & being active, yes please!)
Play legos with them or “house”
Play “I spy” or “ABC animal” or charades (The ABC game happens often in our family, whether we are on a drive or in line, we will ABC any topic- animals, names, foods, dessert, flowers)
Have a Nerf War together (we once acted out the Revolutionary War with our Nerf guns, the youngest boy was the casualty as he took a Nerf dart to the eye, but no worries, he’s all good and still has 2 fully functioning eyes!)
6. Memory maker ideas.
Family picnics. My boys and I have our favorite picnic spot in our hometown. It is on a green lawn under a magnolia tree overlooking a small lake with a large botanical garden to the left and a playground behind. We have been having picnics at this spot for 10 years! We have many great memories having picnics in that location. Nowadays, we have been fortunate enough to have picnics in all kinds of spots around the country like under the red arches in Utah, by a waterfall in Virginia, on the seaside rocks surrounding a lighthouse, sitting beside a glacier lake, and underground in a cavern; however, our hometown picnic spot is “Our Picnic Spot” (and we still go there at least once or twice a year).
Game nights are a great option for memory making. I remember as a kid looking forward to the times when my parents said we would all play cards together. Nowadays, my boys are delighted every time we have a family game night!
Day trips to local state parks (or even national parks), museums, gardens, libraries, playgrounds, historical sites, hiking trails, etc are perfect opportunities to experience something as a family. These experiences are imprinted on your child’s brain and will produce memories that will last for years and years.
Adventures (big and small)
Cook together
Garden together
Movie night (When I was growing up, I looked forward to movie and pizza Fridays!)
Take a walk
Do a Science Experiment together
***An idea that came from an article I read is at the end of the year create a “100 Memories List” as a family from that year (a memory doesn’t have to include all the members of the family)***
7. Family traditions bind a family together with annual events or special happenings. Here are some of our favorite family traditions that my boys look forward to:
Cinnamon roll holiday shapes (hearts for Valentine’s Day, turkeys for Thanksgiving, Christmas trees for Christmas)
I grew up with my mom making an Easter bunny cake/Cross cake every Easter and now the tradition continues with the grandchildren.
Happy birthday Jesus cake on Christmas
Finding the hidden pickle in the Christmas tree (my boys do this at their Aunt & Uncle’s house)
10 year old adventure- in our family, my husband takes each boy on an adventure when they turn 10- this is a chance for the boy and my husband to have one-on-one time and discuss “growing into a man” things.
13 year old cruise- we know a family who took each of their children (individually) on a weekend cruise when they turned 13 as a way to spend intentional time with that child.
Annual trip/vacation- I have fond memories of my growing up years when we would go snow skiing in the mountains every winter and lobstering/fishing/boating in the Florida Keys every summer. My husband has fond memories of visiting his family’s mountain vacation home through his childhood. These annual vacations allow kiddos to anticipate days of family bonding and shared experiences.
8. Birthday experiences- when the boys were younger we did birthday parties, but as they got older, we found it more valuable to have them choose an experience for their birthday that we could all partake in as a family (some of my boys’ birthday experiences include petting a dolphin at SeaWorld, riding an incline mountain coaster, going horseback riding, visiting a Dinosaur museum, doing a blacksmith experience, and seeing a special movie in theaters) People tend to remember experiences, not necessarily gifts. Here are some other ideas for great birthday experiences!
Theme park
White water rafting
Zip lining
Spa day
Cooking class
Hot air balloon ride
Scavenger hunt
Concert
Zoo
Sporting event
Fun center
Go Karting
Special dinner out
Ice skating
Wonderworks/Museum
9. Volunteer together- a family that serves together grows together. (see post on “Serving Together as a Family” for more ideas)
10. Make an annual family yearbook to remember all the special moments and shared experiences! At the end of the year gather together and discuss each person’s favorite memories from that year. Per advice from a dear friend, I have made a yearbook for each of my boys after a homeschooling year. We love to flip through the book and recall events and moments that we had already forgotten about! These yearbooks can be stored on the coffee table or bookshelf so they can be opened up as many times as possible through the upcoming years. Recalling past times and retelling stories imprints those memories into our brains.
Each memory, each shared experience, is a brick that we are laying in our child’s foundation of life. The more bricks we can lay in the 18ish years they are with us the stronger their foundation will be.
My eldest, at 12 years old, looked at me recently and asked me, “Mom, do you know what my favorite thing is?” When I replied “no”, he continued, “One of my favorite things is hanging out together and doing things together.”
Mic drop!
It’s not the things we buy them or the fancy places we take them or the tech time we allow them; it’s TIME! That’s all these kiddos want! Time as a family hanging out together. For something so simple, it sure is hard sometimes with the business of life.
I challenge you to choose 1 thing from the “10 ways to make memories as a family” and implement it this week (we are taking action steps to volunteer more as a family). Let’s lay those bricks, fellow mommas!
With Smiles,
Kathryn
