Have you created a Family Mission Statement?
Is a Family Mission Statement really that Important?
Mission Statement definition: a formal summary of the aims and values of a company, organization, or individual.
Family definition: a group of one or more parents and their children living together as a unit.
Family Mission Statement definition: a concise written declaration that defines a family’s core values, purpose, and principles.
So, is a family mission statement important enough to take the time out of our busy schedules and sit down as a family unit to articulate our values, then write them down, and ultimately post them up for all to see?? Yes!!!
Let me tell you why (through my acrostic):
F- fosters a positive family culture. A mission brings people together- there is a sense of “we are all in this together.” It brings a culture of unity instead of individualism.
(Our family mission statement automatically exudes a positivity in our family culture because it implies that this is a “together” goal, not just a parent-directed mandate.)
A- aids decision-making. A mission statement clearly defines your family goals. When every member of the team knows the goals, then making decisions about how to spend free time, how to spend money, what to invest in, should all line up with the family’s mission statement and goals.
(Our family mission statement provides us with a framework of how we want to live our family life and use our resources, so the decisions that we make are simpler because we run them through the mission statement.)
M- more harmonious family dynamics. When everyone knows the mission and every member participates as part of the team then harmony is the effect.
(Our family mission statement identifies our values as a family and even though we are all quite different in personality and giftedness, we can all bring something to the proverbial table.)
I- identity. We all struggle to find our identity. Who am I? What is my purpose? A mission statement provides identity to every member of the family. Each person is a member of the family team and each member has a specific purpose and role in that team.
(Some children struggle with feelings of exclusion even within their family. Our middle son has expressed feeling different than his brothers and in fact he is different in quite a few ways. BUT our family mission statement reaffirms that we are all a child of God AND a part of the Ely family. My middle son finds identity in the fact that though he is different in certain ways, he IS still an essential and valuable part of our family team.)
L- lived out. It’s not enough to just develop and write out a family mission statement- you must LIVE it! Walk out the values that are important to your family. Live life with the purposes and goals you have stated. If hospitality is important to your family it should not only be included in your family mission statement, but your family should be showing hospitality of some sort on a consistent basis.
(Our family mission statement includes “grow in our faith” so we read the Bible together every morning, pray throughout the day, and practice forgiveness on a daily basis. Our mission also includes “create memories together” so we make it a priority to take trips around the country, have shared experiences like swimming with manatees, and go on small adventures like picnics and hikes.)
Y- your values. A family mission statement should consist of your family values. What does your family define as important: hospitality, faith, generosity, service, travels, outdoor adventures, building, etc. The most vital principles should be apparent in the family mission statement.
(Our family values faith, open communication, unconditional love, work ethic, serving others, travel and adventure. Although we esteem hospitality, generosity, honesty, integrity, kindness, education, and gratitude we try to incorporate these values into the components included in our mission statement. You can’t have 20 guiding principles in your mission statement, so choose the few that really define your family AND that you are already living out and go from there.)
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M- memorized. Every member of the family should memorize the family mission statement. It’s not just about rote memorization; it’s about really understanding and internalizing the statement. When the mission is embraced, it is easier to live out.
(It took a few weeks for all members of our family to memorize the mission statement. Our mission statement is one sentence so it is not daunting for the boys to remember. My sons recite our family mission statement on a weekly basis to keep it fresh in their minds.)
I- instructive. A family mission statement is a guide to how a family should operate. It should instruct the family on how to use their resources and how to spend their time because it is composed of the family’s most important values and goals.
(When our family was contemplating buying some property and creating a “home base” amidst our traveling around in our camper, we thought about our family statement. Our mission statement includes “shared responsibility” and “create memories together” which will both be fulfilled by working together on a property. Thus we purchased a 4 acre plot of land in the North Carolina mountains and look forward to building tree houses, clearing land, and playing in the creek.)
S- shared vision. A family mission statement is developed by the FAMILY- all members. A family is a team. The team operates as one when all members share the same vision and goal. In order to blend everyone’s ideas, open conversation must take place. In addition, all opinions and ideas should be valued and considered.
(Our family mission statement was the shared vision of all 5 members of our family. My hubby and I find great value in passing along our family’s faith in God, we all agree that responsibility should be shared and not just 1 or 2 people shouldering the burden, and we all thoroughly enjoy being together and creating memories together.)
S- short. Keep the mission statement concise. There is no need to be overly complicated or use flowery language. In order for the mission to be memorized and internalized all members should be able to recite and understand the words and concepts.
(Our family mission statement is 1 sentence. That’s it. An effective mission statement should be 1-3 sentences.)
I- improved communication. Communication is more effective when everyone is on the same page.
(Our family consistently refers to our family mission statement. For example, when disagreements come up between siblings, we remind everyone about “open communication”. We can not read each others’ brains and we need to communicate our thoughts and feelings instead of assuming things about another family member. After we communicate openly we can choose to empathize, apologize, and forgive.)
O- ownership. People take ownership when they have a hand in the creation of a product or idea. When every member of the family contributes to the family mission statement and agrees on the final product, then the whole family can take ownership of what was created. It is not just Mom’s idea or the parents’ idea- it is the family’s idea. That makes a key difference!
(Due to everyone’s participation in our family mission statement, all 3 boys have taken ownership of the values.)
N- not complicated. The more complex a mission statement, the more difficult it will be to memorize and internalize. It need not be long or convoluted. The most effective mission statements tend to be the most direct and succinct.
(Our family mission statement uses simple words and short phrases so that all 3 boys [aged 12, 9, 7 at the time of development] could understand and recite it.)
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S- strong family bonds. Each member of the family wants to feel useful, valued, and purposeful. A family mission statement brings everyone together by implying that every member of our team is necessary. There is an underlying theme of “we are better and stronger together.”
(When my boys recite our family mission statement every week their eyes light up and one can see there is a family pride and belonging to our shared mission.)
T- togetherness. Families are composed of different individuals. Each member of the family has their own unique personality, brain type, strengths, weaknesses, and giftings. However, a mission statement brings everyone together and says, “though we are all different, we are all part of the same team and we operate together.”
(My boys know that the family mission statement is for ALL of us, not just us “parents” or them as the children. We ALL share responsibility, We ALL communicate openly. We ALL grow in our faith. We ALL serve others.)
A- attitudes and ideals. The family mission statement should express the attitudes and ideals of your unique family. Every family has their own set of standards, ideas, values, principles, goals, and interests. Figure out the most important for your family and include those in the mission statement.
(We looked at what our family was strong in, what qualities we valued, what we enjoyed, and what we were already living out. What came from those reflections and conversations was: faith, communication, teamwork, service, and memory making.)
T- team spirit. Whether it be a sports team, a team of soldiers, or a family, a mission statement says we are all gathered together for this pursuit. Some missions are short, some are long, some may contain multiple missions. A family will go through many different seasons as the family members grow and change. Although a mission statement may change slightly over the years, the main components should stay the same: we are a family and this is what we value and find important.
(We constantly refer to our family as a team. Yes, we are all individuals, but we are a TEAM. We should operate as a team- that means valuing, encouraging, and supporting one another.)
E- ensure a legacy. A legacy is a long-lasting impact that affects those after you. A family mission statement should be thought of in legacy terms. This is the mission of your family. It will be passed down (maybe altered a bit) to your children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Hopefully, these specific characteristics, qualities, and values will define your family for generations to come.
(Our family mission statement consists of foundational values that are essential to a strong family unit. These are long-term guiding principles that will stand the test of time.)
M- molded together. In our current culture of individualism and “finding self”, a family mission statement mentally and emotionally molds the family together. It ensures a mentality of “we are one” and “we are a team”.
(Our family is not all sunshine and rainbows. There are many times when there is tension and irritability and disagreements and fights. That is to be expected when 5 unique individuals live under the same roof (and in our case a 300 square foot camper!) However, our mission statement reinforces that though friction may occur, we are bonded together as a family. We can communicate, empathize, and offer forgiveness.)
E- essence of your family. Your family mission statement should be the essence of your family. When everything is boiled down to the most basic level, what characterizes your family?
(It was very difficult to dwindle down so many excellent qualities and values and goals into one family mission sentence. However, by looking at what our family was already doing and what we wanted our boys to be strong in when they grew up, we were able to confirm our top guiding principles.)
N- noticeable (posted). Do not develop a family mission statement and then store it in a folder or on your computer. A family mission statement is meant to be displayed. When we store something away, our brain tends to forget about it. However, when we post something in a location where we see it every day, then our brains consciously and subconsciously absorb the information.
(I simply typed our mission statement out, printed it, and hung it up in our kitchen. However, one could also paint it or have a sign made- the key is to hang it up in a communal family area.)
T- teachable. A teachable family mission statement means one that is clear and simple so that adults and children alike can understand it. The mission should not be rigidly fixed, but allow for reevaluation and tweaking in the future. It should provide a framework for the family to operate within.
(By keeping our words simple and direct we have achieved a mission statement that our sons can internalize. We understand that our mission statement might be adjusted as we enter into different seasons; however, we intentionally chose strong foundational principles that can stand the test of time and changing seasons of life.)
The Ely Family Mission Statement (this is our family mission statement that is taped up on our kitchen wall):
“Our family is committed to grow in our faith, communicate openly, love unconditionally, share responsibility, serve others, and create memories together.”
Now, you can create your own family mission statement! Below are various example formats to use or you may create your own!
Family Mission Statement Format Examples:
“Our family is committed to…”
“Our family is built on…. We seek to…”
“We are a family that…”
“We as a family believe…”
**Share your family mission statement below!
